Loner World Problems

As an introvert, I find that I really depend on the time that I spend reflecting alone each day. I rely on that time to replenish my store of energy.  It’s not like I don’t like people.  I do, really I do.  I find people interesting and on occasion refreshing, but after a while spent talking to people I always need a break to recharge my socialization battery in order to stay pleasant and engaged.

For example, crowds.  I have a love/hate relationship with them.  I find them kind of intriguing and entertaining to be in the midst of because it is the perfect atmosphere for people watching.  I love having the ability to blend in and watch people as they bustle by in their own little worlds.  It’s cool being able to catch snipits of people’s natural mannerisms in the open because they assume no one’s watching.  You’d be surprised at the things you see. (Haha. I sort of sound like a stalker.)

But, I also can’t stand to be in a crowd for too long.  While the atmosphere is ideal for people watching, it also has an irritatingly abrasive quality.  Shoving, and shouting, and idiotic statements.  Humans can be just as annoying as they are interesting.  As an introvert, I need the opportunity to step back and go, “Okay!  I’m done relating to human beings for a while!

And it’s not as if I think I’m just that much more interesting or tolerable.  I just find the time set apart calming and rejuvenating.  The time extroverts need to spend chatting and expressing and generally communing with others to feel at peace, I need to spend reading and reflecting and listening to music in some remote corner of the room to feel right.

It’s funny ’cause I’ve discovered that if I’m counting on having some part of my day carved out for some alone time and some change of plans suddenly eliminates that time slot, I start to feel a little loopy.  Even if it’s replaced by spending time with someone I really like or have missed seeing in a long time.

It’s like my brain is like, “‘Ya know, I like you and all, but I’ve already spent the allotted time talking to people today.  I’m mentally/emotionally tired.  Can we do this another time?  Or at least after I spend thirty minutes sipping on some tea and spacing out for a bit?”

Sometimes I don’t even realize why I’m feeling stressed out.  It might be late afternoon when I begin to feel jittery and high strung.  The day’s been pleasant and productive.  Why am I feeling so wonky?  I have to think about it for a space before I realize, “Oh, I’ve been amongst my fellow homo sapiens too long.  I need a break.”

Am I some form of hyper-introvert or do any of you sympathize?

I can’t do without some chill time.  What’s something that you can’t function without?

~LDA

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