I feel like it’s once you hit the 4th grade that you start questioning how cool you are.
How on the level.
At first you judge yourself based on what you yourself think is cool, but then you quickly realize that when it comes to the world, they care more about what they think. So you start to conform and forget about your own opinions.
And it just gets worse as we grow older,
but hopefully we reach a point when we realize that most of the world is basing their judgements of “cool” off of what others are doing anyway.
Including you, who is basing yourself off of what the world is doing,
thus creating a vicious circle.
It’s at that point that maybe, just hopefully, you realize that you’re in fact the coolest person around.
That is, only if you come to terms with being totally and completely uncool.
Yes, you read right.
Uncool is where it’s at.
You discover the truth that if you derp around confidently enough, others will almost unfailingly follow you.
In truth, this is basically the primary law of the entire “Hipster Movement,” if I go so far as daring to affiliate myself with such a thing.
“If I walk around in these uncool clothes, with this uncool attitude, and my uncool ideas with just the perfect amount of confidence, then the world will submit to my views because I’ll have convinced them they simply must be missing something if someone like me manages to walk around with as much conviction as I do,” the dutiful hipster thinks to themselves.
And better yet,
“I’ll manage to convince them, and myself, that I don’t even care what they think to begin with. Because who wants to be mainstream, anyway?”
Perhaps regrettably, there is a grain of truth to this logic in that if “you” just “do you” you’ll end up looking put together no matter how scattered you really may be, simply by virtue of being comfortable in your own skin.
People will look at you and think, “Gee, that person isn’t looking to the left and to the right every five seconds to see what everyone else is doing like I am. They must really know what they’re doing.”
Because those hipsters, they were really onto something.
That is of course until everyone started trying to be “hipster cool” by being uncool, thus negating their uncoolness, which if they actually took a moment to think about it brings them back to being truly uncool…because they’re only trying to be uncool because it is cool, which is decidedly, uncool.
In other words,
My true derpaloids are only those who derp truly.
Shout out to you derpaloids.
You the real MVP. 😉