It’s powerful the amount of emotional attachment we can derive from or infuse into music. It makes me sad when music that I once listened to in order to get me out of a sad funk ends up reminding me of unhappy times later on.
The music retains the memory of the dark cloud that was suffocating my consciousness when I last listened to it and now forever carries with it sad overtones.
I am trying to reverse some of that.
Partially because I’ve been in such a funk for such a long time that this symptom has oozed into too much of music library. Partially because it’s cool to experiment with how much power you wield over your mind.
I’m not just talking about listening to sad music when you’re sad, mind you. Most people tend gravitate toward bluer vocals when they’re in a blue mood and then that particular music might remind you a specific sad moment in your life later on. But I’m talking about the opposite too. Sometimes you listen to upbeat music to try to lift yourself out of your emotional muck and it works. Or sort of works. In reality you’re suppressing negative feelings with a temporary fog of lightheartedness and the dark is lurking not far beneath. But it’s still nice to feel okay for a while.
Of course, then a once happy tune later carries with it memories of the dark you tried to chase away, if the dark was grim enough.
If I listen to a song now which once used to invariably pull me out of an agonized self, will I be able to attach happier connotations to its notes if I am happier now? Or will it only bring me down? How many listens in a happy mode would it take to turn that trend around?
I am still finding out. Wish me luck.