Prying Eyes and Warrior Cries

Super Smash Bros. Brawl, guys. 

It’s a great game.

SO great a game that it sometimes finds itself worming its way into my daily life in silly and awkward ways. 

For those of you who have never played the game, it’s basically a fighting game created for all characters Nintendo to battle against each other in.

For those of you who have played the game, (or any Zelda games) you know that there is a character named Link who makes these wickedly overexaggerated fighting grunts that sound something like “Hya-aa!” when he does moves like this.

These battle cries sound completely cool in the context of a fighting video game. 

Not so much in regular daily life. 

I’m weird, okay?  And sometimes I let my imagination get mixed in with reality a little too much which ends up having me get caught doing ridiculous things quite often.  One of the ridiculous things I like to do when no one is looking is (or listening) is utter a Link-sounding battle cry when I’m doing mundane things. 

Let’s say I’m lifting a heavy box or something.  In order to make the experience a more fun one, I’ll go “Hya-aa!” as I stumble across the room.  I mean, if you’re gonna be forced to physically exert yourself, you might as well sound like a warrior doing it, right?

Scrubbing at a plate with a particularly stubborn piece of food stuck on it?  “Hya-aa!”

In the kitchen chopping an onion with tears pouring down my face?  “Hya-aa!”

Kicking open a door because my hands are full?  “Hya-aa!” 

I find it makes the boring things of life a lot more exciting and entertaining.

It was this last thing that I was doing (opening the door with no hands) when I found myself in a laughable predicament:

So the first thing you have to understand is I’m a low-profile germophobe. I don’t like touching hotel tv remotes, letting people borrow things that go near my face (like my phone or earbuds), using restaurant utensils, or touching doorknobs.  Also, I cringe inside when someone reaches out to shake my hand because it’s one of the dirtiest and most bacteria infested parts of our bodies.  Who decided we should greet each other that way? (I mean seriously, why can’t we just take a hint from other countries and bow in introductory settings instead?!  ToT)

Anyway, now that I think about.  You guys didn’t really need that little insight into my twisted, tormented mind.  Kicking open bathroom doors is something most average people do, right?  Because the immediate location of a bathroom reminds us how dirty our grimy little grabbing appendages really are.  At least for a second.

So picture this.

I’ve just finished washing my hands in the single stall bathroom at my workplace.  I’m desperately trying to keep my hands in the heavenly stage of antibacterial clean by manipulating water faucets with paper towels and leaning as far away as possible from the toilet area because it has just released thousands of microscopic toilet water droplets into the air.  I’ve finished wiping my hands dry, but committed the deadly sin of throwing it away before using it to push the door open.

So what’s my only option?

To kick the door open, of course.

And what a better time to utter Link battle cry than when kicking a door open? 

So, I did.

“Hyaa-ah!” I whisper shout, with eyes squinted shut and everything.

And of course, with my luck, there was someone standing on the other side of it.  Even though there isn’t like 90% of the time.

 

A surprised wide eyed look when I realize someone has seen me.

A questioning look from the person looking on.

My awkward chuckle.  “Oh…he-he…hey.”

 

Luckily, the woman who caught me laughed it off.  Also luckily, it wasn’t my boss.  Haha.  Can you imagine how exponentially more embarrassing that would have been?

You’d think that after being caught in the act that I’d limit dorky warrior cries to home, but I still do it in public when no one is watching sometimes.  What can I say?

Once a derp, always a derp. 

I’m even doing it as I press the button to publish this post.  ;P

~LDA

 

 

 

The Dream Universe

So I’m one of those derps who’ve decided that they want to learn how to speak Japanese just because of the sheer amount of Japanese language input they’ve received from watching so much anime.

Except, I’m not one of those unmotivated people who learn how to say “kawaii” and how to stick a “desu ne” in the correct place and then abandon ship.  I’m really determined and am being awarded for my efforts by understanding more and more of what I listen to, (both in anime and music).

Anyway, the only reason I bring this up is because I find that this new language acquisition has reached the point where it’s affecting my dream universe.

Each and every one of us has a dream universe tailored to their specific subconscious that picks up signals and images throughout their entire waking day and then plucks and chooses which details it wants to reincorporate into dreams.  These reincorporated signals become our personal”dreamscape.” 

I read somewhere once that everyone you see in your dreams are people you’ve seen in your waking life.  That no face you come across in your dreamscape is not a person that you perceived while you were awake, whether consciously or just on a subconscious level out of the corner of your eye.  Now, I don’t know whether that really is a statement of fact or not, but I think it’s a really interesting thought to entertain nonetheless.

It makes enough sense.  Our brains, (even the most creative ones of us), are not as innovative as we might wish to think they are.  A lot of what we come up with (if not all) are just a conglomeration of signals that our brains have somehow made connections between and re-outputted.  The most creative ideas come from a combination of two unrelated things that have now come to be related.

For example: 

tweeting birds + social media = twittter

AND

cannibalism + giants with freaky faces + cool fighting gear = Shingeki no Kyojin (AKA Attack on Titan)

AND

giant talking turtles + Italian plumbers + bromance = every Super Mario Bros. game ever made

It’s a good system that has churned out a lot of awesome stuff.  Our dreamscapes are constructed in a similar way, throwing stuff together in cool and/or weird ways and calling it imagination. 

Last night, a new thing happened in my dreamscape that I found really amusing once I figured out what was going on.

I was derping around, going about some unimportant task that I can’t remember when everyone started speaking to me in Japanese.  So…everything was cool, everyone was speaking English and helping me go about my business, I was just about to solve some crucial problem, and then all of a sudden, all these Japanese phrases were being spit out at me.

Confusing much?

I was like, “Ohmigrob, ohmigrod, ohmiglob.  Why is everyone speaking to me in Japanese all of a sudden?!”  After I stopped freaking out I told myself.  “No, wait.  I can do this.  I got this!  I’m barely at an intermediate Japanese proficiency level, but I should be able to understand at least some of what they’re saying.”

Being the ‘dream turned nightmare’ that it was, they of course were all speaking to me at the same time which only compounded my frustration.

“Why can’t I understand anything?!  All I can understand are a particle or two and a few words here and there!  Oh man, all of my studies have been in VAAAAIIIN!” I thought, pulling out tufts of hair and letting my knees dramatically hit the floor.

Then, suddenly, one of those wonderfully magical things happened and it became a lucid dream. 

“Heyyy, waaiit aaaa minute. This is a dream, isn’t it?   Which means…that everything going on in here is only a product of what my mind already knows.”  A smile spread across my face.

“Which means…”

Having calmed down and logic-ed everything out, I listened to the people spouting Japanese at me more closely.

Turns out they weren’t really speaking Japanese at all.  Well, they were speaking some Japanese, but the rest was just gibberish!  Since I’m not at all at a fluent level of Japanese yet, my brain was filling in the gaps of speech between words with gibberish since it didn’t know what else to do.  I was freaking out about not understanding but I couldn’t have no matter how hard I tried because neither did my brain!  

How’s that for inception?

Of course, once I realized this, the magic of my subconscious was disrupted and I woke up laughing like a hysterical idiot.  Dreamscapes don’t take kindly to being figured out so they often kick people out of lucid dreams pretty quickly.

This dream was one of the funnier, quirkier dreams I’ve had in a long time so I thought I’d share.

What about you?  Have you ever had any lucid dreams?  Tell me about them in the comments. 🙂

~LDA