Tongue Tucking Disclaimers

Wow, would I never want to be in the public eye. 


Which, I know, is ironic, because here I am posting my thoughts for all to see.  But what I mean is, I’d never want to get to the point where I’m popular enough for people to start thinking they have the right to misinterpret and put a spin on everything I say.


These days no one has an opinion, but everyone is shouting loud enough to think they’re doing a good job making people believe they do. It’s the same with average everyman and celebrity alike.  It seems like especially with public figureheads, whether it be talk show host, YouTuber, or famous athlete, everybody speaks with a disclaimer tucked behind their tongue. 


It’s ridiculous.


“So here’s what I think…BUT I’m not actually saying that I necessarily think such and such, I’m just saying it’s a way to think.  But in the end who am I to tell you what to think? *insert nervous chuckling* Did I succeed in not offending anybody?


I think humanity as a whole has lost some fundamental anchor in themselves.  Everyone is turning to everyone else for affirmation that they’re saying and doing the right things.  Of course, it’s questionable that we ever had that security of conviction to begin with.  Every generation thinks they’re the generation when humanity will fall apart.


In any case, it’s come to the point where it seems like the only thing people feel comfortable talking about is the fact that straight, white males are privileged.  In fact, it’s even come to the point where that’s all some straight, white males are comfortable talking about.


“Oh boy.  Confound my privileged position in society, am I right? Heh, heh…Oh jeez.  I apologize for my existence.  Please don’t hurt me.”


Don’t get me wrong.  I appreciate the fact that long-standing social injustices are being examined and exposed for what they truly are.  I just don’t think it has to come to the point where everyone is so afraid of being the next person/group being ostracized for political incorrectness, that we stop stating anything with real certainty at all. 


“No opinion is the best opinion.  If I just feed off of others’ thoughts long and hard, my individuality will become blurred enough for it to be impossible for me to be attacked.  Mwhahaha!  I shall engage in my genius plan immediately!”


Oh, wait.  You lost your soul in the process, ya’ dummy.




Loner World Problems

As an introvert, I find that I really depend on the time that I spend reflecting alone each day. I rely on that time to replenish my store of energy.  It’s not like I don’t like people.  I do, really I do.  I find people interesting and on occasion refreshing, but after a while spent talking to people I always need a break to recharge my socialization battery in order to stay pleasant and engaged.

For example, crowds.  I have a love/hate relationship with them.  I find them kind of intriguing and entertaining to be in the midst of because it is the perfect atmosphere for people watching.  I love having the ability to blend in and watch people as they bustle by in their own little worlds.  It’s cool being able to catch snipits of people’s natural mannerisms in the open because they assume no one’s watching.  You’d be surprised at the things you see. (Haha. I sort of sound like a stalker.)

But, I also can’t stand to be in a crowd for too long.  While the atmosphere is ideal for people watching, it also has an irritatingly abrasive quality.  Shoving, and shouting, and idiotic statements.  Humans can be just as annoying as they are interesting.  As an introvert, I need the opportunity to step back and go, “Okay!  I’m done relating to human beings for a while!

And it’s not as if I think I’m just that much more interesting or tolerable.  I just find the time set apart calming and rejuvenating.  The time extroverts need to spend chatting and expressing and generally communing with others to feel at peace, I need to spend reading and reflecting and listening to music in some remote corner of the room to feel right.

It’s funny ’cause I’ve discovered that if I’m counting on having some part of my day carved out for some alone time and some change of plans suddenly eliminates that time slot, I start to feel a little loopy.  Even if it’s replaced by spending time with someone I really like or have missed seeing in a long time.

It’s like my brain is like, “‘Ya know, I like you and all, but I’ve already spent the allotted time talking to people today.  I’m mentally/emotionally tired.  Can we do this another time?  Or at least after I spend thirty minutes sipping on some tea and spacing out for a bit?”

Sometimes I don’t even realize why I’m feeling stressed out.  It might be late afternoon when I begin to feel jittery and high strung.  The day’s been pleasant and productive.  Why am I feeling so wonky?  I have to think about it for a space before I realize, “Oh, I’ve been amongst my fellow homo sapiens too long.  I need a break.”

Am I some form of hyper-introvert or do any of you sympathize?

I can’t do without some chill time.  What’s something that you can’t function without?